Doing some online shopping, battling insomnia aaaaaaand, the lure of Halloween chocolate. So far I'm resisting. I'm classifying chocolate as evil at the moment. It gives me horrid, mind-shattering migraine's and ever since watching A & E's Biography on Satan I'm feeling a little more generous to averting evil and all its related rich, satiny chocolate subsideraries. I'm sure I didn't spell that right. I was thinking of chocolate. (Its kind of like one of those chocolates where you say chocolate instead of what you meant to say.)
Bad Chocolate = Evil = Satan; for tonight only.
Anyway, I've been shopping online, despite the fact I can't afford nearly anything, as I'm poor. But instead of going into the familiar "My future is going to suck" rant, I'm going to embrace material goods instead. I'm trying hard to develop my shopaholic symptoms into a full-fledged invitation for family intervention.
This'll get long. Get your popcorn now, and sit tight.. because I'm selfish. And very, very bored.
I went here first, and perused some of their items. This Tea-Leaf Reading Game would come in mighty handy when I overthrow the Psychic Friends Network and rename it 'Psychic Friend'. (Of course, this will entail me pleading pathetically to home viewers..."Don't you like me? How come no one wants to be my friend? Call me.. my mom will bake you cookies...!")
This (Good Fortune Kit) is plenty cool. I hope the rabbits foot isn't real rabbit though.
I hope its magic rabbit.
And I'm somewhat sorry, but these are great purely for conversational purposes. SIR LEO LICK-A-LOT? NAUGHTY NAUGHTY KIEFER? Colour me perverted, but am I the only one who can almost hear small, high-pitched voices reminiscent of the clown in 'It' cajoling, "Come here, little girl?" Other then that, their cute. In a fairly scary sort of way.
Then, onto Red Envelope, where I must have this. Its not like I'm a big drinker -- or at least thats what I tell myself -- but I seriously need this. C'mon people... "Just a nip" ??!?.. yeah. Definitely need this gem of alcoholics everywhere. Thats right. Because I'm selfish.
Can you imagine the cheesy lines accompanying The Sterling Couple Keyrings? "You have the key to my heart", "Only you can unlock my soul", "This mission is so dangerous it must be kept under lock and key: my heart." Oh, I could write a book.
This is pretty awesome -- a Dream Catcher Kit.. I'd probably never get around to writing anything down, ever, however. At one point I tried to start a Dream Journal associated to SolarDragon.. but I eventually got bored and didn't even continue with the design. Because I'm FICKLE.
To reiterate; I'm selfish and fickle.
I may be selfish and fickle.. and whiney too, but this Silver Tape Measure is a little ridiculous. My father and a few of my uncles were always doing carpentry and the like, and they had the normal, grungy tape measures. The only image I gather from this item is of a tall, slender Interior Designer tsking as he measures the space for his giant, statue-esque water fountain. Then, in a gesture of haughty defiance, perhaps he might place his hand on his hip, wave his hand a little bit and declare that the entire room will need to be redone, because there's not enough room for the rare tropical plant to breathe and still coordinate with the rules and regulations of Feng Shui. (Of course, I've now created an entire room layout, story and character in my head. I dub him Chad. And he likes quaint hors d'ouevres.)
Decorative Robot Clocks. Is there anything cooler then that? No. There isn't.
Rose Petal Soaps -- sure, their thin and $48.00... and something I could possibly make myself by simply whittling away pink and and red soaps. But did you see the jar their in?? *Drooooooool*...
An Electric Pepper Grinder. Because twisting the knob and grinding the pepper yourself is much too hard.
This survival kit would probably be a dangerous thing to ever give me. Besides developing and humming my own personal theme music, I'd probably start spy-training. Thats right. Spy-training. Spy-training myself. What that means is; "Look, I'm a spy now! I've watched every James Bond movie! Even the pornographic one!" Oh, Octopussy... you sexy renegade of a film.
Finally, FlaxArt. I started a gigantic wishlist there a few months ago, but I can't log into it anymore because I forgot my password and/or username. Or they possibly deleted me because I only wished and wished and never bought.
Celebriducks are pretty nifty -- but of course, keep in mind thats coming from someone who's obsessed with any and all form of rubber duckies. I'm going to be 50 years old and most likely live a la Kathy Bates in 'Misery'. ("You see, my rubber ducky Ducksilla was facing East..now its facing West...now I shall cripple you! Muahahaha!!" -- not an exact quote.) Anyway, I especially like the Betty Boop one. The rest are a little scary. Like Carmen Miranda Duck. (And her picture kind of looks like she's giving the finger.)
I've always thought that Handwriting Analysis was pretty interesting. Personally I change my handwriting every time I write -- either its slanted cursive, straight cursive, small, big, printed, illegible.. whichever. Mostly illegible, though.
Anyway, I think I've rambled on long enough about my collective wants. There are much more. Summing up: SELFISH and FICKLE and WHINEY. But its currently 2:14 a.m., and this post is going to be absurdly long, and half of you aren't going to spend the time in reading it (Screw you, you ignorant bastards.) .. I'm probably going to have to write the test I missed today tomorrow at any rate (I watched news reports for a good portion of the day -- I wanted to see what was happening. Mel's relative's from New York came down by plane last Thursday.. the state of the world really sucks in a strangely inspirational way -- there's a lot of horror, fear and hatred, but at the same time comfort, care and support.)
G'nite for now guys -- tomorrow I may go hand out resumes. If you own a store, hire me. I need $$$ to pay for my beautiful things. Just look for the weird girl in the bad clothes chewing gum and spitting out profanity like any good Christian girl.
